Precision Coaching Service...

During this recession everyone is tightening their belts and focusing on the essentials. Unfortunately, one of the things deemed “unessential” is self-care. Ironically, this is a time when we really need to be taking care of ourselves. We need to marshal all of our resources to get through this downturn.

With this in mind I am offering 1 hour “Precision Coaching” sessions for a limited time. The purpose is to get “down and dirty” about one topic/issue that is keeping you up at night.

As a Coach I am highly skilled at helping people cope and work with change. Here are a few examples of Precision Coaching topics I have worked on with clients:

• I used to really have fun at my job. But the recession has really brought everyone down. How can I start enjoying my job again?
• I believe there are opportunities in this down turn. What are ways I can get past my fears and see the possibilities?
• The recession has forced my spouse and I to work together with our finances. It was hard, but we did it. What are other ways we can build on this experience?
• I was totally unprepared for the downturn. If I had to do it all over again, I would do things very differently. How can I make these changes stick?
• I want to re-assure my kids about the economy, but at the same time I want them to learn from this experience. What is important for them to know?
• Eventually this recession will end. What can I do to prepare for the upturn?

Here is how it works:
• Fill out a Precision Coaching form prior to the session and return it to me and set up an appointment. The fee is $65.
• We will coach for 1 hour on 1 topic.
• The focus is on clarity, brainstorming, setting goals, action and accountability. You will end the call with a defined course of action to move forward on your topic.
• A fifteen minute accountability follow up session is available, if needed.

The economic changes we are going through have created tremendous fear, both real and imagined. A major side effect of fear is that it robs us of our ability to act. (Here is a link to an interesting article from the NY Times about fear: "In Hard Times, Fear Can Impair Decision-Making")

What we need right now is action, not paralysis. Are you ready to get out of the bunker and into the fresh air?

Feel free to contact me with questions or to schedule your Precision Coaching hour.


Cheers,

Chip

Economic Lunatic Fringe...

I am going to become a charter member of the lunatic fringe with this entry...

I think a lot of the economic melt down hysteria is hype. I think the media is doing the economic version of "sex sells" only this time anything to do with economic disaster is a hot media topic. The same "experts" that completely missed the impending "train wreck" or arrogantly assured us that gas would never go below $3.00 a gallon are the same ones driving the doom and gloom express. The only economist I have heard making any sense is the one on NPR who said economists have a lousy, almost statistically insignificant record of predicting the economy more than 6 months out. So the reality is...we don't really know what is going to happen! It could get worse or it could get better!

I know things are bad, really bad, for a lot of people. People are losing their homes, jobs, retirement, college funds, self-esteem, confidence and hope. But I think there is a "War of the Worlds" effect going on. People are really scared. Fear is rampant. It is also the enemy. Here is a link to a great article in the NY Times; "In Hard Times, Fear Can Impair Decision-Making" about how fear robs us of our ability to take action and risk and promotes a "bunker mentality". The only way we are going to get out of this mess is for people, banks, businesses, communities to get the hell out of their bunkers and start some forward movement. Movement-any forward movement. Let's all hitch up our courage and do something! Something-anything positive in our lives and communities.

I'd rather enjoy the sunshine and fresh air with my fellow lunatics than stay in the fetid hole of fear with the huddled masses.

Turning Resolution Into Reality

I must admit, there is something about the New Year that fosters change. Although it seems a little cliched, January it does seem like a good time to make some changes. This year seems especially opportune for change. Obama will be inaugurated on January 20th, bringing and end to the Cheney/Bush regime. The economy is in shreds, thanks to the greed, guile and spineless actions of...well the list is a long one. There is a sense that real change is coming and it won't necessarily be easy. But I think people are ready to dig in, work hard and make things happen. It is refreshing to see people actually questioning their lives, values and leaders.

As a Life Coach I work with people who want, sometimes desperately, to change their lives. They are starving for a shift, but are having difficulty making it happen. Most of them have tried and either fallen short or failed. It is my job to help them make the changes stick and I'm good at it. So I thought I would share a couple of tips and resources that might be helpful.

Should vs Want: Ask yourself if the Resolution is a should or a want. If it is something you "should" do, the chances for success are slim. "Shoulds" are usually the result of shame, guilt, expectations or societal pressures. Yech! There is no juice there. If it is something you want, then your odds for success are much greater. Wants are based on desire and fulfillment. "Should" you exercise because it is "good" for you or because you want to feel better, have more energy and be less stressed?

Give Yourself Permission to Fail: Breaking old habits and establishing new behaviors is hard work. Give yourself permission to fail but not quit. If you miss a day at gym, for whatever reason, cut yourself some slack and commit to another day. Going to the gym 1 out of 3 times is still better than 0 out of 3. The important thing is to do it, not beat yourself up because you didn't meet unrealistic and arbitrary expectations. Once the rountine is established you can ramp up the frequency.

Saying Yes and Saying No: This can really be helpful in keeping commitments to change. Make a list of things you need to say Yes and No to which will help you meet your goals. " I say no to scheduling meetings during my work out time" or "I say yes to leaving work on time to be more involved with kids". It is about choice and and intention.

Track Your Actions: Keeping a simple a log is a graphic way to chart your progress. I have a simple form that I can email to you. (chipm@paonia.com)that I have found very effective.

Talisman: Create or find something that embodies the benefits of the change you are trying to accomplishment. When you find your commitment lagging or doubting your intentions, use this to remind you of why the goal is important and why you made it in the first place. It could be a simple piece of jewelery, a photo or a quote.

Don't Go It Alone: Usually when we take on something big in our lives we ask for help or assemble a team. You don't have a baby by yourself or go for an advanced degree. You reach out and get help. Midwives, doctors, parents, friends, professors, spouses. So why is it a cultural expectation to achieve personal goals and growth by ourselves? State your goals and commitments to friends, relative and colleagues and ask them for support. Stating goals to others makes them real and people will be more than willing to help and maybe even join you. If one of your friends asked you for help, would you turn them down? Accountability is a powerful motivator.

Celebrate Your Success: No matter how small, if you followed through on something you committed to doing, then take a moment to enjoy it. Don't listen to the voice that says "you committed to running 3 times and you only ran twice". Relish the fact that you broke out of your old patterns and made time to do something that was important to you.

Changing patterns and behaviors takes time, patience and practice. It is difficult to do by yourself. If your interested in getting some help following through on your New Years Resolutions I am offering a 5 session series focused turning Resolutions Into Reality. Drop me an email or post a comment and I will give you more details.

Cheers!

Chip

Fast Food Comes to Paonia...

Well, it finally happened. Fast Food has come to Paonia. Not having fast food chains or traffic lights always gave me bragging rights with big city friends, who marveled at our backwardness. It was a way to thumb our noses at the suburban bourgeoisie. Somehow we were "pure", untainted by the commercialism of a Fast Food Nation. Locally owned restaurants seem more authentic and connected to me.

I was pleasantly surprised when our local greasy grill and gas station was getting a remodel. "Peppers" had gone down hill in recent years, to the point where I was not only scared to buy their food, but even going in the place was dicey. It had the "rural meth-amphetamine" vibe to it.

However, it was part of a dying breed. The independently owned grill/gas station is part of American Epicurean Myth. Linked with visions of carhops and Route 66. Over the past few years there has been a renaissance of sorts in Paonia. The local art deco movie theater got an awesome makeover (it's great to be able to buy a beer to go with your popcorn); a swanky new coffee shop, the local hippie health food store is now an elegant restaurant that features local food and wine. So I was hoping that "Peppers" was going down the same road. It was a good grill at one point and I hoped the new owners would restore it to its former glory and more.

I was shocked to see a neon "Subway" sign go up. In a community that prides itself on the virtues of buying and eating local food and has the most organic farms, orchards and ranches of any county in Colorado, this had somehow sneaked in under the radar. On the other hand I was kind of glad to have another option in a town with few restaurants, even if it was just a "Subway". I did not want to engage in a "knee jerk boycott" and I knew I would eventually eat there.

In a small town everything closes on Sunday and I needed to get 4 hungry teenage boys something to eat while they watched football on the big screen at the theater. Subway was an obvious choice. The place was clean, almost sterile, a utilitarian environment, which was nice change from the previous incarnation. 3 local teens were working there and were taking their jobs seriously, which is better than the usual bored slacker attitude common to low paying, fast food careers. I am sure they will get there eventually. I also found out it the owners are locals I know, which takes a little of the sting out of the chain food invasiveness.

They seem to have hit upon a gold mine, the place is always packed. Every time I drive by the line is almost out the door. I guess Paonia was "hungry" for something like this. Something familiar and predictable.

I find I have a range of reactions to the Subway arrival.

• Pride that our little town has a national chain.
• Sadness that mainstream commercialism has found our out-of-the way-valley.
  
• Embarrassment that going to Subway is such a big deal for my kids.

And finally, I find it interesting that something that is innocuous in an urban area would have such an effect on me.

Longtime no blog and good advice on weathering the recession...

I can't believe it has been so long since I blogged (well actually I can). So much has happened since then. New President (yeah!),new Congress (we'll see...), financial chaos, bail outs, Mumbai. Wow. The media has been eating it up! Looks like plenty of material for blogging, I just need to get in the habit. I think I let the "great literature" saboteur drive for awhile. He is under the bus now, as opposed to driving it

Surprisingly the fact that I finished the bulk of my Coaching Training Certification, including an epic 25 page written exam didn't make the headlines. Go figure... "Just" the oral exam to go in January. .

Participated in a very interesting "Webinar" today called "Marketing Coaching in Turbulent Times". It was led by a very experienced, down to earth and inspirational Coach named Steve Mitten (www.acoach4u.com) here are some ideas that stood out for me:

• Don't buy into the negative media hype. It just stresses you out, making you fearful and powerless. Take a "media vacation".
• Emotions are contagious. Hang out with positive folks you can connect with. Limit exposure to "downers".
• Confront your limiting beliefs. Work with a coach, colleague, therapist for friend who can give you some perspectives. He recommended www.thework.com as a resource.
• Buy into the "Universe is friendly place" mentality. Imagine the universe as a place that actually has "your back" and will take care of and provide for you. Or...you can continue to be victimized by a "cold black" force beyond your control.
• Take time every day to something mindful. Yoga, exercise, meditate, laugh, go for a walk, start a gratitude journal, whatever. It's gotta be good you for ya...
• Tough times bring personal challenges and crystallize the desire to change.
• I liked this quote " There is no such thing as bad weather if you're dressed appropriately". Great metaphor...do you get it?
• In tough times in can take 50% more effort to get the results you might get in easy times with 10%.
  
• If you're looking for work or change, find your "fuck it point" . That is the point where your desire for change out weighs the risk of failure. You just say "fuck it" and go for it.
• Form a support group, lean into your relationships and ask for help. This is not a good time to go it alone.

Lot's of other nuggets of wisdom, but those were the ones that really connected with me. The bottom line for me is the perennial coaching question: "Who is gonna show up?" It is up to you...

Cheers!

Chip

U-scan...

Part of the fun of living in a small town is that we get "modernized" much later than the rest of the world. When I moved here in 1994 you had to drive 10 miles to the nearest ATM. Now we have 4. The closest traffic light or fast food is 30 miles away.

I went into the grocery store in Hotchkiss last week, and...voila! We got 4 new U-scan check out machines. I know it is a small thing and kind of geeky, but I was psyched! No more waiting in line while the family of eight, with 2 bulging carts (full of the most amazing crap! I swear I counted 16 frozen pizzas and 6 liters of soda) checks out. Of course, they are best friends with the checker and have to catch up and all I have is friggin' doughnut (my own amazing crap!)

This time I was in and out of there in no time...U-scan...U-rock!

The next time I was at the store, I grabbed a few things and out of habit, got into a check out line. I struck up a conversation with an old guy about corn (I am reading "Omnivores Dilemma" right now) and how corn is an ingredient in almost in every processed food on the shelves and in much of the packaging. He ended telling me about his diabetes, how much he missed orange juice and how he once drank 200 year old corn whiskey. He seemed a little addled, so I don't know how much was true, but it was interesting. The checker asked about my kids, if the Broncos would have a good year and if I was hunting this year (I don't hunt, but I am a male in a rural area, so it is assumed I kill my own meat).

As I was leaving the store, I noticed the U-scans and dang it! I had "wasted" time by not using the U-scan. I swore next time, I would use the U-scan and would remember, really remember, my cloth grocery bags. On the drive home I was spacing out and re-calling the conversations I had in the check out, the surreptitious pleasure of reading the headlines on all the trashy magazines and how generous it was that the checker assumed I was macho enough to kill my own meat!

Cha-Ching! Epiphany! If I had used the self-serve lane, I would've missed out on all that cool, very ordinary, fun human contact.

Which is one of the main reasons we moved to this valley. To have more familiarity, involvement and social intimacy with our fellow inhabitants. To get away from the anonymous crowds of the big city and connect with people. That small, everyday event represents so many values that I cherish: friendliness, openness, talking/meeting different people, establishing relationships with folks who serve you, being in the moment with the people in your community, not being so god damned rushed and busy.

U-scan is just another way to buy into the rush,rush, rush which can cut us off from each other. The narcissistic trends of our culture don't need any more encouragement.

So I am opting for the traditional check out lanes, checkers with cool hummingbird tattoos, trashy tabloids and I swear I will remember my cloth grocery bags.

It's Good To Be A Coach...

We all have days that make us feel good about what we do, but how many of us take the time to be with it? It is a new skill for me and it has taken some getting used to. Maybe it is like single malt scotch or really hot Mexican food. Kind of strong, uncomfortable...awright, down right painful, best if applied in small doses.

One of the exercises in coaching training is to have everyone in the room, folks you have known for about 2 days, tell you what they like and admire about you. "Help me baby jebus!" I was about to crawl out of my skin just watching other people be acknowledged. When my turn came 'round I about wet my pants...and it turned out to be a great experience. If other people could see these things in me, maybe I could too. But it got me thinking: I would have been more comfortable being criticized than acknowledged. What is up with that? That is just sick! I polled my fellow trainees and I wasn't the only one who felt this way...

Start you own mutual admiration society, membership isn't free, but it is well worth the cost.

So here goes...

Today I finished coaching with a client and we had a great closing session. I was really proud of the way we worked together to get her past some tough stuff, shared some epiphanies and came up with a plan that got her moving toward some real, sustainable change. She is an awesome, powerful person and I know our community and the world is a better place with her in it, authentically making a difference and living large. It was truly a privilege to work with her.

My big brother emailed me and told me he was proud of me. That was huge. I don't think there is a little brother alive who doesn't want to hear that from his big brother.

I found my "zone" coaching a fellow coach and was courageously honest and direct. I asked some questions that I had been wanting to ask and she really appreciated it. I challenged her and she rose to the occasion. It was really cool. This was on the heels of being challenged by one of my coaches yesterday. Who ever thought a good butt kickin' could be such a gift?

I met a challenge by my coach, asking me to email 5 people to host informal, coaching evenings. What'ya know... I am still alive. Actually, it was easier than I thought and the friends I have heard from are more than happy to host. Amazing what happens when you ask for what you want.

My willingness to "step up to the plate" comes and goes, but each time I do, it gets more comfortable. Think I like spending time here...beats sitting on the bench. Who cares if I strike out. I am always at the top of the order

Big picture...little town

I just finished watching Barak's acceptance speech on YouTube. I must admit I was impressed but reluctant to hope. In coaching we work a lot with fulfillment and help people identify and live into their dreams and what they really want. I want our country to live into and realize it's potential so bad I could spit. I am so sick of Bush and his negative crap, that I fear I have been fully infected by the politics of despair. Just as I was writing this, my oldest friend called and we were reminiscing about going to see Bill Clinton give a speech in Albuquerque when he was running for his first term. It was the first time I had any reason to go here a Presidential candidate speak. We both were so hopeful and impressed. But were both disappointed as time passed and he became yet another politician working the machine (or being worked by the machine). I still think he was a great president and is doing great work now. It was just sobering to watch him settle, compromise and waffle. I will just do what I can in my life to make a difference and seek out different opinions, be curious and not judgmental.

So much of what he said resounded with me. Some of it is reflected in the community I have chosen to call home. There is a sense of watching out for each other, in spite of our differences, that he touched on. It's doesn't mean we are best friends or hang out, but we wave, nod and acknowledge each other. Truth be told, we also make fun of each other, shake our heads in disbelief at each others attitudes and choices. Still, we want our town to keeps it's character and wouldn't think of turning our backs on others in need.

As an example, when I first moved here, there was a big fire outside of town. Some structures burned, but no one was hurt. Everyone showed up with flat beds, horse trailers, pick ups, etc to help move treasured belongings out of threatened homes. Didn't matter if you were a hippie, redneck, coal miner or rancher. People set aside their differences to help out. Common good/sense prevailed. It didn't matter that those needed help were a hippie elk farmer, a Realtor or retired investor.

As I am writing, the neighbors (who live in a trailer...) are fighting again...so it certainly isn't paradise, but at least it's real. Think I'll head down to Revolution Brewing...

What is Confluence Coaching?

People have a depth and richness of experience in the lives they lead and the choices they have made. Many people joke that they had several lives. Father, Son, Banker, Construction Worker, Chief Bottle Washer, Class Clown, Solider…

What if you could bring all those lives together; the resonance, the joy, the pain, the grief, the humility, the discord…all of it…into a new and intentional life? A life that is a confluence of the past that made you who you are flowing into the future of who you truly are. Combining to create a life that is full, profound and thunderous. What if you achieved your wildest dreams and then redefined “wild” and realized those? What if you’re relationships had the depth, vibrancy and trust you have been craving?

How would it feel to bring the genuine you to the table, warts and all with an unwavering fierceness? In other words: be unquestionably vulnerable and brilliantly whole.

I have a natural ability to create a safe, fun, exuberant, courageous and irreverent place where we can work together to explore, rage, laugh, contemplate, choose, rearrange and celebrate. A place where no one gets to be wrong and epiphany, intuition and challenge are the currency. Settling, holding back and rationalization are simply not options, they can’t grow here. Life is a trip…set your own course.

(I wrote this at the request of one of my coaches. It was a stream of consciousness exercise. My "woo-woo" coach said I was channeling. All I know is that it came from my soul and it resonates)

First post-How I became a Life Coach aka Life Smackdown!

I am new to blogging...so here goes...

I got into Life Coaching after a series of jobs that featured spectacular rises to power followed by equally dramatic crashes. As in "may day, may day I'm going down, again, in flames" or almost as bad, settling for mind numbing boredom, just waiting to be fired, laid off, anything...

In all fairness to myself and my employers, I still delivered the goods and did a good job. They got their moneys worth and more. Just not the job I was capable of. I could rationalize it all day long, but the bottom line was that I wasn't into it. There was not enough resonance.

My last job ended so disastrously it would make a good episode of Jerry Springer. Drama, tragedy, betrayal, near violence and whole shit load of stupid. On everyone's parts. No one directly involved will be winning any awards for how it was handled.

So the universe finally smacked me upside the head hard enough that I had to pay attention. I decided to have a "mid-life crisis" and figure out what I really wanted to be/do. Much to the relief of my long, suffering wife, who all the time saw my potential and was agonized by my poor career choices.

One note on the term "mid-life crisis". I hate that term. I wasn't in a crisis, I had been stumbling along and wanted to figure out where I wanted to go, have some intention and confidence. From now on, I am calling it a "mid-life review" until I find something catchier and fun.

Like most good things in my life, I got the lead from my wife (she is really smart, not to mention hot). She turned me onto a colleague who became a life coach and thought it would be a good fit. The passion this woman had for coaching was impressive. I was intrigued and unlike other times in my life, actually paid attention to my gut. Short story long, I took the dive and signed up for the core training with the Coaches Training Institute . At age 46 I had another student loan and was starting over.

After the first session I knew I had found my calling. It was so cool it was scary. Little did I know the journey that was ahead of me. All I knew was that if felt like I was home after a long, weird trip. The words from Amazing Grace kept going through my head "I was lost, but now am found". I was also good at it, found it deeply rewarding and, this is important, fun! I don't so much if there is not an aspect of fun to it.

So now I am in a certification program that is taking my coaching to new levels and getting hints of the mastery to come. It is very cool. For the first time in my life, I can't get enough of my work and amazed by the endless opportunities for growth, fun, challenge and learning.