Turning Resolution Into Reality

I must admit, there is something about the New Year that fosters change. Although it seems a little cliched, January it does seem like a good time to make some changes. This year seems especially opportune for change. Obama will be inaugurated on January 20th, bringing and end to the Cheney/Bush regime. The economy is in shreds, thanks to the greed, guile and spineless actions of...well the list is a long one. There is a sense that real change is coming and it won't necessarily be easy. But I think people are ready to dig in, work hard and make things happen. It is refreshing to see people actually questioning their lives, values and leaders.

As a Life Coach I work with people who want, sometimes desperately, to change their lives. They are starving for a shift, but are having difficulty making it happen. Most of them have tried and either fallen short or failed. It is my job to help them make the changes stick and I'm good at it. So I thought I would share a couple of tips and resources that might be helpful.

Should vs Want: Ask yourself if the Resolution is a should or a want. If it is something you "should" do, the chances for success are slim. "Shoulds" are usually the result of shame, guilt, expectations or societal pressures. Yech! There is no juice there. If it is something you want, then your odds for success are much greater. Wants are based on desire and fulfillment. "Should" you exercise because it is "good" for you or because you want to feel better, have more energy and be less stressed?

Give Yourself Permission to Fail: Breaking old habits and establishing new behaviors is hard work. Give yourself permission to fail but not quit. If you miss a day at gym, for whatever reason, cut yourself some slack and commit to another day. Going to the gym 1 out of 3 times is still better than 0 out of 3. The important thing is to do it, not beat yourself up because you didn't meet unrealistic and arbitrary expectations. Once the rountine is established you can ramp up the frequency.

Saying Yes and Saying No: This can really be helpful in keeping commitments to change. Make a list of things you need to say Yes and No to which will help you meet your goals. " I say no to scheduling meetings during my work out time" or "I say yes to leaving work on time to be more involved with kids". It is about choice and and intention.

Track Your Actions: Keeping a simple a log is a graphic way to chart your progress. I have a simple form that I can email to you. (chipm@paonia.com)that I have found very effective.

Talisman: Create or find something that embodies the benefits of the change you are trying to accomplishment. When you find your commitment lagging or doubting your intentions, use this to remind you of why the goal is important and why you made it in the first place. It could be a simple piece of jewelery, a photo or a quote.

Don't Go It Alone: Usually when we take on something big in our lives we ask for help or assemble a team. You don't have a baby by yourself or go for an advanced degree. You reach out and get help. Midwives, doctors, parents, friends, professors, spouses. So why is it a cultural expectation to achieve personal goals and growth by ourselves? State your goals and commitments to friends, relative and colleagues and ask them for support. Stating goals to others makes them real and people will be more than willing to help and maybe even join you. If one of your friends asked you for help, would you turn them down? Accountability is a powerful motivator.

Celebrate Your Success: No matter how small, if you followed through on something you committed to doing, then take a moment to enjoy it. Don't listen to the voice that says "you committed to running 3 times and you only ran twice". Relish the fact that you broke out of your old patterns and made time to do something that was important to you.

Changing patterns and behaviors takes time, patience and practice. It is difficult to do by yourself. If your interested in getting some help following through on your New Years Resolutions I am offering a 5 session series focused turning Resolutions Into Reality. Drop me an email or post a comment and I will give you more details.

Cheers!

Chip